Paralyzing fear of dating
discussion of the word, or Urban Dictionary, or even MTV’s FOMO Woodie.
Wherever you heard it, we guarantee that it struck a chord — you knew it described something important and universally affecting. It bombards us with options, and leaves us paralyzed to choose which weekend BBQ, which job, which city…even which relationship.
People with a commitment phobia long and want a long-term connection with another person, but their overwhelming anxiety prevents them from staying in any relationship for too long.
If pressed for a commitment, they are far more likely to leave the relationship than to make the commitment.
If that person doesn't want to spend time with you, so what?
No matter how much you may be attracted to that person, your life does not depend on their approval. I've written about 20 novels over the years, but only four of them have been published.
Is fear of rejection or actually being alone the cause of loneliness?
Being alone would seem to be the #1 reason for loneliness, but surprisingly, that's not true. And many people who have a spouse or partner are lonely. In the times of my life when I was the loneliest, I was afraid to ask women out because they might turn me down. In our liberated society, where women are doing everything from being U. senators to supreme court justices to doctors, attorneys, CEOs, and even clerics, there's still a stigma about a woman asking a man out on a date.
I am unabashedly honest about both good and bad matters. I found that, in the dating world, I struggled with being forthright with people. Texts that once made me giddy would slowly come to paralyze me with fear.One of his favorite catchphrases was, “I’m the kind of guy who calls people out on their bullshit.” Randall’s definition of “bullshit” was any behaviors — including subjective opinions, lifestyles, and preferences — that did not fit into his rigid worldview.He would call me out if I had different boundaries than him regarding physical contact.When I asked Erika why she stayed with Max she was incredibly matter-of-fact.“Ugh, breaking up sucks, being single is horrible and it’s not like there is anything better out there.” Jordana, a thirtysomething executive, wasn’t shocked when her boyfriend asked her point blank whether she actually wanted to marry him, or whether she just wanted to get married.
For most people, relationships are fairly easy things.